نبعد عن السياسة والاقتصاد وكل الأمور التقليدية المكررة في مقالاتي ودعونا نفكر سوياً في أمر مختلف هذا المقال. يومياً ترى من يكتب أو يقول “لا تذكر أنك سعيد كي لا يحسدوك” أو “لا تذكرين أنك خطبتي” أو “لا تقل أنك سترزق بطفل كي لا تحسد“. وكلهم يكررون الحديث “استعينوا على إنجاح الحوائج بالكتمان فإن كل ذي نعمة محسود“. لذا دعونا نفكر سوياً في الحسد وهل يمكنك منع الحساد؟ وهل الكتمان التام حقاً مفيد؟!
في البداية دعونا نفكر؛ هل يمكنك منع شخص شرير وحاسد حقاً؟! فليكن هناك فتاة خطبت فتقول لها أمها أننا لن نخبر أحداً كي لا تحسدين وأنك سبق وتسبب الحسد بإفشال عدة خطبات سابقة. الآن هى لن تخبر أحداً ومرت الأيام وتزوجت. إذاً لقد انتصرنا على الحساد. حقاً!!! هل سيكون الزواج سراً ولن يعلمون؟ ماذا إن أنجبت؟! سيعلم الحساد. لكن في هذه المرة لن يقولون “اتخطبت فلانه بنت المحظوظة، هو في حد لاقي عرسان في الزمن دا”… لكن سيتحول الأمر لـ “شايفة فلانه اتخطبت وخبت، أكيد خافت على عريسها أصل شكله ابن ناس وهيعيشها في عز ودلع ووو”… إذا كانت قدرتهم في الحسد قادرة على “فسخ الخطبة” فنفس الأشخاص ستكون قدرتهم على “طلاق الزوجة أو جعل حياتها تعيسة” وهذا أسوء من الأول.
إذاً فهل نجح كتمان الخطبة من منع الحساد؟! أم قام بتأجيل الحسد وتغيير نوعه؟!!
مثال آخر عن شخص لم ينجب منذ سنوات طويلة. ثم حملت زوجته فقرر عدم إخبار أحد لكي لا يحسد الطفل. ومرت الأيام وجاء الطفل. هل يمكن أن ينجبون ولا يعلم الحساد؟ سيعلمون لكنهم هذه المرة سيقولون “ياااه فلان خلف بعد سنين طويلة، دا الواد دا هيدلع وهيعيش حياه سعيدة مع أبوه اللي خلفه بعد حرمان”. حسدهم الذي كان قادراً على “إجهاض الطفل” سيكون أيضاً قادرة الآن على موتهم في أي مرض يصيب الأطفال أو يعيش حياه بها مشاكل. أليس كذلك؟
فهل نجح كتمان في إنقاذ الطفل دائماً أم أجل موعد حسده؟!
يمكن أن نستمر طويلاً في ذكر الأمثلة وستجدون أنك تخفي لكي لا تحسد لكنك فعلاً تؤجل فقط الحسد. بالعكس فإن الإخفاء يولد أحياناً حقد وكراهية.
خاف من الحسد من واخسر أصدقائك
نقطة أخرى من أضرار الخوف الزائد من الحسد وإخفاء الأمور وهى توليد الكراهية وخسارة الأصدقاء. إخفاءك التام بالأمور وعدم إخبار أحد سيجعل بعض أصدقاءك لا يعلمون إلا عند انتهاء الأمر وهنا سيفكر الصديق في نفسه “هو فلان مقاليش ليه؟ للدرجة دي مش واثق فيا؟ بعد عشرة السنين دي مفيش ثقة” أو يقول “هو الواد/البت بيخبي عني؟ هو فاكرني هحسده؟! يعني سنين مع بعض ومش عارف إني هفرح له وبيعاملني زي الغريب وإني هحسده؟” أو أي سيناريو حوار داخلي لكن نهايته ستكون مثل “أنا غلطان إني اعتبرته صديق وكنت بقربه مني وأقوله أسراري”.
أنا لا أتحدث هنا عن مبالغه وخيال علمي. فكلنا يعلم أو واجهه هذا الأمر أن وجد صديق أو زميل له أخفي عنه أمور وحزن ولو للحظات منه. فهل يستحق الأمر توليد أو زرع بذرة الكراهية والشقاق بينك وبين أصدقاءك؟!!! تذكر أن الصداقة تبني من أمور صغيرة معاً. إذا زرعت أمور صغيرة سيئة فستجد مع الوقت الأمور تتغير.
لكن إذا كان حقاً لا يمكن الحماية من الحسد فلماذا قال الرسول “استعينوا على إنجاح الحوائج بالكتمان فإن كل ذي نعمة محسود”؟ بالطبع هنا أنا لن أناقش الحديث لأنني لا أكتب مقالات دينية لكن في بعض الأحيان عليك أنت أن تخشى الحسد وتخفي. ها هنا أنا أناقض نفسي أليس كذلك؟!
خاف من الحسد
على عكس كل اللي فوق بقى في أحوال لابد أن تخشى الحسد فيها مثل:
التفاخر: هنا فارق ضخم بين ذكر الشيء وبين التفاخر به. مثل (الأمثل ستكون بصيغة مبالغة لتوضيح المعنى ولا يعني أن أحد يكتب هذا نصاً) أن يكتب شخص “اليوم أراد ابني أن يفعل كذا وقولت له لا فأطاعني. الحمد لله عرفت أربي”. وبين شخص آخر يروي نفس الموقف “ابني كان عاوز يعمل كذا وقولت له لا فسمع الكلام، ابني الحمد لله طالع بيسمع الكلام ومؤدب وبيصلي ويصوم من صغره وحافظ للقرآن وحتى شكله جميل ماشاء الله”. في ايه يا عم إنتا عاوز تغيظ الناس بإبنك؟! أو مثلاً شخص ربنا يفتح عليه فيكون ميسور الحال دا نفسه مش هيجلب الحسد. لكن تلاقيه يروح عامل بوست “جبت أغلى عربية في مصر، اشتريت شالية في أحسن مكان، السنة اللي فاتت قضيت الصيف في المالديف السنة دي حيران أروح فين”… أيوا يعني عاوز مننا ايه؟! نحن نعلم أنك ميسور الحال وثري لكن لا تغيظنا.
الظروف الخاصة: ممكن يكون شخص عنده ظروف معينه. ليكن لديه 5 أبناء تخرجوا من الجامعة ولم يجدوا عمل. فلا تذهب لتقول له “إزاي كده دا انا ابي أهو مجرد اتخرج لقى شغل” ربما يكون قصدك هنا أن تقول له هناك خلل في أبناءك أو لابد أن يأخذوا دورات. لكن من غير المنطقي أن تقولها له هذا. تحدث معه مباشرة أن يبحثوا عن دورات وإن أردت أن تقول له أن ابنك وجد وظيفة أخبره أن ابنك درس كذا وتدرب في كذا ونجح في العثور على وظيفة -مش لازم تقوله من أول مرة اختصر- فلماذا لا تطلب من أولادك أن يقوموا بالأمر نفسه؟ هنا سيكون عثور أبنك على وظيفه “مثال” يحتذى به لا يحسد عليه.
الظروف العامة: نفس النقطة السابقة لكن هذه عامة. مثل أن تجد كل الشعب يعاني من انخفاض في الرواتب مقابل الأسعار. فتكتب لهم “الحمد لله صاحب الشغل زود مراتباتنا وكمان خلانا نقبض بالدولار”. يا سيدي راعي غيرك. ذكر هذا الأمر سيجلب عليك الحسد بدون داعي.
مشروع سري: إن كنت تقوم بأمور سرية مثل تخطط لافتتاح متجر يقدم أمور استثنائية فهنا اخفي الأمر حتى تفتتح متجرك. حديثك وتفاخرك بأنك توصلت لعقود مع جهات معينة لمشروعك القادم ربما يجلب عليك ليس فقط الحسد لكنه أيضاً المنافسين.
الخلاصة
كونك خطبت وتزوجت وأنجبت فهذه الأمور ليست خارقة وأنت تتميز بها. إن كرمك الله بالمال فعش حريتك واستمتع بمالك ولا تدعي الفقر. انتبه فقط لوقع الكلام على غيرك. فإن كنتي حامل وتجلسين مع سيدة لا تنجب فلا تجعلي محور حديثك عن الأطفال فهذا سيولد كراهية وحسد. فهذه السيدة تعلم أن هناك مليارات ينجبون حول العالم إذاً فهناك تقبل نسبي لكن لا تركزي على هذا الأمر. لديك مال عش حريتك فهذا مالك. لكن لا داع لإخبار أحد حجم ثروتك إن كان أفقر منك. إن جلست مع شخص لا يرى البحر لفقره فلا تحدثه عن رحلتك الأخيرة في المالديف. في النهاية سيظل هناك فئة قليلة حاقدة هذه الفئة ليس الحل هو أن تخفي عنها لأنها ستحسدك على أي شيء حتى إن كان وجبة طعام. هذه الفئة حلها الوحيد هو أن تزيلها من حياتك وألا تعلم بوجودك.
استمتع بحيانك وعشها بحرية تامه لكن راعي ظروف غيرك ولا تتفاخر بما لا يملكه سواك
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